Small things

Security screenings at Airports

2012-01-10T17:12:00.003-07:00

This is funny - http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/10/travel/tsa-defends-cupcake-policy/index.html?hpt=hp_bn7

It reminded me of April 2010, when I was traveling to Atlanta from Boulder for my husband's birthday. Since I was reaching on his birthday eve, I decided to bake cake in Boulder and took Betty Crocker's chocolate frosting tin packed and sealed with me so that I could apply the frosting after reaching Atlanta. But the security officials at Denver airport were not happy with the frosting. It was a gel kind of thing for them which was more than 3 ounce. They checked my bag and told me that I can't take it with me on the plane. When I was like "Please, it is my husband's first birthday after we got married and bla bla bla...", the officials were like "Ok, why don't you apply the frosting here itself?" I was not sure how the frosting would hold up in the plane and did not want to ruin the cake. So, I did not apply the frosting on the cake at the security. (It would have been weird to apply the frosting on the cake at the security). So the frosting went into trash can and the cake was eaten naked (Please, the cake was naked! Ha ha).

2012-01-05T22:44:00.002-07:00

Ok, so it will be almost two years of being married this February. Family and relatives have started asking about kids... which makes me think a lot, will I be a good parent?

I love kids, a lot! On my recent India trip, I spent most of my time with a 1.5 year old nephew and 2.5 year old niece. I had so much fun with them and I am sure even they had as much fun. Their parents tell me the kids miss me and I miss them too. If I did not have any other work, I would have spent all my time with them.

But I can never think of having my own kids. I am not sure if I will be able to take good care of them. I am very careless about eating right, and I am scared that attitude of mine will affect my kids. It is a lot of responsibility, life time responsibility. When I think about my past as a kid, I can imagine what my parents had to go through. Agreed that they give you the love that is not comparable to any other love in this world, still I am not ready.

I am also not ready because I am not sure what the future looks like for us... Financially, there is no problem now, but who knows what it will be like in the future. How much money saving is enough to have kids? There are so many uncertainties in life and growing up another life in such uncertainties will make life more complicated. Life never feels settled, ever.

I am not ready for having a kid now, and I am not sure when I will be ready.

2012-01-01T11:19:00.002-07:00

I generally don't make resolutions for the new years... But I have one for this year - Spending one month in South Americas in the second half of this year. A has agreed to it and wants to do it himself. Lets see if we can make it.

Happy New Year.

2011-12-21T14:29:00.003-07:00

I have been wanting to write this since this morning... I wish there was infinite amount of time and some amount of infinite money just to visit all the beautiful places in the world. And the irony is - if you have a lot of time free, then you are obviously not working and don't have enough money. And when you have money, that means you are working hard and you don't have time.

My "Places to Visit" list is getting longer and longer... sigh. :-|. I blame myself for that... have too much interest in this beautiful world.

2011-12-19T22:12:00.003-07:00

A lot of times my blog are one liners. I want to write a lot more about whats going on in my life when I write the one liners, but I am not very sure of what the reaction would be of the readers and future readers. So, I end up writing one-liners. People are very judgmental. And I am very cautious of my image, so I better write one-liners.

Life is busy again. I have started working in an actual office again. Back to same 9-6 life. Though, I look forward to getting back to home. So, my current office is in the downtown. I take a 10 min bus ride and then 10 min walk to my office. That 10 min walk in the morning is the best time. I see so many people rushing to work, trying to be on time, stores opening, people having their morning coffee. 8-9 hours in the office and then it is the time to go back to the bus stop and another 10 min walk. Since its Christmas time, the downtown is all lit with lights. Every single tree is decorated with lights and they all light up together in one line. Looks amazing. I need to take my camera one day to capture some lights before Christmas ends.

So this is my life currently. It is good. But now that I compare with my non-working or working from home life, it was good too. Just that I didn't go out as often. Does working in a company make me feel better? Not really. Just that there is discipline in my life. I don't sleep at random hours and eat well when I am disciplined. Do I miss my old life? Yes, I do.

Anyways, will stop here... some more some other time.

2011-12-12T17:39:00.001-07:00

In the same fix again... the heart wants it but the brain does not...

seeing her off

2011-11-29T11:29:00.003-07:00

So two weeks back my younger sister got married. I was high on the sentimental side of emotions... again too many thoughts going on in the mind. You are protective and possessive of your siblings and you want the best for them. There is nothing like best, but still you hope for it.
I saw one of our pic together of Bidaai and those emotions are back. She is now happily married but the mind still thinks about her so much. Its hard to let go of your things and hardest to let go of your people. Though she will be mine, she is still not mine enough. I can still shout on her though but I cant get all her time now.
I know its part of life, but it is one of the hardest part of life. I will soon accept this fact and get used to it in some time, but at this moment its not so comforting.

2011-11-22T11:41:00.002-07:00

Togetherness is so addictive that you feel the need of other person in every moment when you are not together...

I miss my husband.

2011-11-07T02:30:00.000-07:00

I am unsure.

Being Miser

2011-10-13T11:41:00.003-06:00

I sometimes wonder why I am such a miser (Kanjus in Hindi). I can't spend money and I hate it, but still I can't spend it. It is not related to if I am earning or I am not earning. It is just my mindset. When it comes to giving gifts, I can buy $100 worth of jewellery for someone, but I have never bought anything worth even $50 for myself. I am not sure what is the reason, but it is just that I can't change it.

Again, I will blame it on my genes. :-) I want to change this attitude, not sure how. After buying something expensive I keep thinking, do I really need it, is it worth it, bla bla bla... God, help me!

2011-10-09T23:42:00.002-06:00

I am very sad again... second time this week. One of favorite singers passed away - Jagjit Singh. :'(.

2011-10-06T10:23:00.002-06:00

Tears still roll down my eyes as I keep reading about the death of a great man Steve Jobs...

I was in denial mode till yesterday, woke up an hour early today without the alarm, and the mind just couldn't get over the thoughts of him. I didn't know him personally but I know what he meant to the technology industry and to the world. I am sad, very sad. I end up thinking how he must have felt as he got near to the moment, the thought of leaving behind your legacy and family at this young age. He was such a motivator, even 3 months back he gave a presentation to the Cupertino City Council about the new Apple Head Quarters. He wanted to do so much more...

:(

A new hobby - Cooking!

2011-09-30T16:32:00.003-06:00

Looking back 6 years, I hardly knew cooking... I still remember my first few days in US, I stayed with my room mates Dolly and Mansi. I was so new to cooking that I was trying to heat oil in a wet pan. aah... that oil splatter hurt. I learnt cooking from my room mates, trying to manage our every day meals. I liked good tasty food, but not so much that I would learn cooking for that. But slowly, I got some basics cleared, could manage making a "sabji" or "sag" and daal.

And then, when I started working and was not a student anymore, I cooked more often. Still basic food most of the time, and something special once in a blue moon. It all started with Indonesian Peanut Saute from Noodles and Company. They have the best Indonesian Peanut Saute. I got a recipe online and made the sauce which turned out really well. It was a motivation factor!

Then I got married to a guy who LOVES food. Well all men love food, so nothing special. :-). The fact that he likes cooking and trying out new recipes motivated me more. And the quest to try new recipes started. We have been trying to cook all the things that we like eating out like pizza, jalapeno pretzels, thai curry, chinese and of course Indian. It is so rewarding to eat the delicious food you cooked and learned one new thing in life... We have been trying to cook one new recipe every week, though it is as simple as making Daal Dhokli (a north indian dish), its new to me. It has been fun overall...

For this new hobby, I went to a Asian grocery store yesterday to get some rice paper for Spring rolls. This store was huge, with so many varieties! I went to buy one thing and instead got ten and it cost me $10. That store was cheap. Safeway or any American grocery store is way so expensive compared to that store. The only thing I didn't like was the store had a stinky meat smell all over. Another thing my five basic sense have learnt to ignore after coming to US.

So, today I am going to make spring rolls with peanut sauce. The same peanut sauce with which this new hobby started! And hence a blog post. :-)

Hope you have a great weekend!
-P

Columbia River Gorge

2011-09-08T13:40:00.004-06:00

For the Labor Day long weekend we went to Columbia River Gorge... I initially thought of writing a travelogue because it was an awesome trip. But half way through it, I thought it was getting boring. So I scrapped it.

Columbia River Gorge is place for waterfall lovers... such beautiful waterfalls and so many of them! We just covered 4-5 waterfalls of the lot. Two of them were superb - Punch Bowl Falls and Oneonta Falls. The hike to Punch Bowl falls was very unique. It was an easy 2 mile hike but the trail path was on the edge of the cliff. We missed the fork that takes you down to the falls and reached overlooking point. A guy and a girl were preparing to dive into the falls! And three of their friends were watching from where we were. People are crazy! It was almost 150 feet drop from where those two crazy kids where standing. We were desperate to go down to the falls from where you get a better view and in that desperation we were taking a very risky path down. It was then when a couple warned us not to take that path down. I am a little superstitious when someone says a "No" to something I am doing. I have had not very good experiences in such cases. So we turned back hoping that there might be an actual path down to the falls. On our way back, we saw a fork which took us down to the falls. See, that's why I am superstitious. :). The view from that place was amazing. We went late in the day so not may people at the falls. In fact just two other. We had some good time taking pictures and looking around that place.

That evening we went to the only brewery in White Salmon. White Salmon is the city where we stayed. They were celebrating their three year anniversary. We had a good burrito and enjoyed the live band... Next day was Rafting day! I was a little scared since it had been 5 years since I went rafting. But once on the raft it was fun. I wish I had gone on the Houston falls, which was 15 feet fall. The raft guide brain washed us so much saying how risky it was... but looking at it afterwards and seeing other people do it, I was sad that I did not go. Next time, may be.

Sunday evening we wanted to do Oneonta Falls, but we ended up on a wrong trail! Went on a strenuous hike and ended up on a different falls. My knees started hurting... :(. We came back from the hike and went to see Crown Point, did some night photography trying to take pictures of stars. But the moon and continuous traffic did not help. :(

We went back to hotel and I did more research on the Oneonta Falls hike. There is no special trail for this falls. You have to scramble through big wooden logs and walk through the stream a website said. Next day morning we went back to the same place and this time we took the right trail. We walked through the stream and then made our way through the tree logs only to reach a 6 feet deep stream! We had our camera bag and tripod bag on top of it. Ashutosh, my husband, managed to carry the camera bag until he could touch his legs to the bottom of the stream. I swam across and then took the camera bag from him. While swimming my tripod fell from the bag into the stream. Super adventure! Ashutosh then had to do some under water diving to get the tripod. We successfully made it to the falls while keeping the camera dry. So much fun. We took some pictures, took bath in the waterfall and then got back to the car.

Oh I forgot to mention our trip to fruit farm... Apples, Green Apples, Pears, Peaches, Plums, Strawberry so many of them. Again took pictures and ate some fruits. The only sad part about the trip was, there was a fire near Mount Hood. So we could not get good view of the mountain. There is something about these mountains in northwest, they stand alone and hence so clearly visible! Mount Rainier, Mount Hood, Mount Helen, Mount Shuksan... I can already recognize these from the pictures.

Overall a super fun and adventurous trip. And if you have not heard Indian Ocean's Kandisa album, do check it out. It is so much fun singing the songs along. I wish they had more lyrics!

If you want to see some pictures they are here -
Punch Bowl Falls
Oneonta Falls

2011-08-24T15:40:00.004-06:00

Another sketch with pencil colors. The reference picture was one of the pictures I took in Atlanta Botanical Garden. It has not turned out to be as good... Sunday night was our joint drawing time, Ashutosh was sketching Incredible Hulk and I was sketching a Tulip. Fun times.

I got my new camera Canon 60D 2 weeks back. The camera itself is very good and took some really brilliant shots. I liked the colors, the big ISO range and the max shutter speed was quite good compared to my current camera Canon XSI. But then I decided to return it, get my old camera repaired and get some more accessories instead of buying a new camera. I think my current camera is enough for the amount of photography I do, but in order to try something new I need some filters and a wide angle lens.

Last Friday, we went to Gas Works Park, from there you get to see the Seattle Skyline over South Lake Union. We packed dinner and went to the park around evening. The plan was to make a time lapse video of sunset over the downtown and lake. The video can be seen here - http://www.flickr.com/photos/98375204@N00/6070775700/ Again, not exactly as we wanted, but it was our first try. Hope to get some better ones next time.

Yesterday I was wondering, how it is to visit a place without a camera... I was not sure what I would do if I did not have a camera with me. I am being weird. :-s

What I did today morning...

2011-08-17T16:33:00.002-06:00

So I am done with my latest mobile application. I don't have much to do now other than thinking what to do next. So I decided to paint. I started with water colors but the paper I was using was not good for water colors. Finished what I was doing with water which did not look good at all. Then I took my pencil colors, and started sketching some flowers. It turned out nice. Painted after almost 3-4 years... Felt good. I hope to do some more in the time I have.

Beautiful Seattle

2011-08-09T17:39:00.003-06:00

It has been more than two months since we have moved to Seattle. And I love this place so much already. Ok! I have only seen the summer till now, but hey, I think I can live the winters waiting for this beautiful summer.

Seattle is such a beautiful place. Its not only Seattle, places around Seattle are so full of greens and blues and various other colors. There are so many small locations around the city from where you can see such beautiful views of the lakes, mountains and bays. Every Thursday/Friday I do my research which place to visit on the weekend. And there are so many options to go! I am now thinking of doing trips even on the weekdays but that means I will have to go without my husband which is not so much fun.

I am waiting eagerly for my new camera. My 3 year old Canon XSi got a scratch on its sensor (I think I did it while I was cleaning the sensor :( ). I never wish for infinite amount of money, but whenever I am thinking of photography I always wish I had that infinite stash of money to buy all the camera gear I want. The list is actually not long, but still it costs a lot. When I got into photography, I knew it was an expensive hobby but then I also thought I would be working all the time. Now, that I am not working it is becoming more challenging, not that my loved ones don't support me, but me being me I will not take them for granted and spend the money on something which I enjoy. Hope to get back to work soon or hope to win a lottery! The chances of the former one are more than the latter one because I am not even betting on the lottery... he he.

Coming back to Seattle, this weekend is going to be Mt. Rainier, hopefully. It is such a beautiful mountain. I am so happy seeing it from Seattle itself. It has snowed a lot last winter, so the now has not melted yet and the wildflowers are just beginning to bloom it seems. I have to go to these places at the right time to get the best pictures. I wish to wake up at 3 am and be there before sunrise, but I will keep that for some other weekday since it will be hard to convince my husband to wake up at 3 am. :D.

I am super excited for the new camera and the weekend Mt. Rainier trip !I will post some pictures if we do go to Mt. Rainier.

2011-07-22T10:13:00.002-06:00

I can't wait to go to Alaska... I want to visit it so badly that I keep reading and seeing pictures of that place very often.

I have been wanting to see Aurora Borealis since I have known about it. Wildlife, Aurora, Greens, Lakes... its all so beautiful.

Its sure the next big vacation, other than trip to India, is Alaska! The name itself is so majestic "Alaska"! :D

2011-07-15T21:33:00.003-06:00

Some time in life there comes a phase, a phase where you can't speak out what's going on in your heart, your mind. It's not that you don't trust anyone, it's just that you don't know how will they take it and if they will understand it. These times need to be fought by yourself. And for that you need strength. A lot of strength.

I am struggling for that strength...

2011-05-20T08:01:00.003-06:00

I am missing India... my home, my family, my nieces and nephews and the sheer joy of playing with them in the garden... and after so many days I am crying because I am missing them... and I am writing it here because I can't talk it out to anyone... It is my decision to live here and I can't justify why I am crying. I have spent my whole morning looking at the pictures of my family when I have 100 other things to do... I am scared of going back to India for good due to many reasons!

Happiness

2011-05-17T07:09:00.003-06:00

Sometime happiness don't need a reason. Today seems one of those days... Nothing special... just another summer morning. No rains or the smell of rains, no special gifts, no phone calls with loved ones, no good news, no good food... nothing special. It is just the feeling that is making me happy...

I have been having such days for sometime now and I am loving it. Its a nice feeling of satisfaction. I have been doing all the things that I love, except one - playing sports. Hope to get back to that soon. I quit from my 9-5 job 6 months back. I have been looking for a new one on and off... but during last 6 months, I have been working on a lot of different things than I have worked in last 3 years at my job. And I also have an amazing guide which I have always wanted to point me in the right direction when it comes to work. Yep, my husband. We have been coding together. It is not the ideal romantic relationship, but both of us are not that kind of people either. I have always wanted to work with someone who is good and does not do my performance review. Well, I have that person now. We do fight sometime when he becomes too picky about the code and I become too possessive about my code... but then hopefully we both understand that and let it go. It has been fun overall. At the end of the day, it is good to marry a person to talk to in the same language that you would talk to your friends... may it be geeky.

Too much of coding life... but hey, its fun having brainstorming session at 1 am lying in the same bed. ;-)

2011-05-09T14:52:00.001-06:00

Suddenly feel that its been long since I met my friends... the list is long... but I am missing each one. Hopefully I meet them soon.

2011-05-09T14:52:00.000-06:00

Suddently feel that its been long since I met my friends... the list is long... but I am missing each one. Hopefully I meet them soon.

2011-04-01T13:58:00.000-06:00

I wish my Dad had not grown old. Period.

Deshpande baba

2011-03-31T07:58:00.003-06:00

This post is for one of my Grandfather's friend. I felt like writing about him, his personality.
His name is Deshpande Baba. White Kurta, White Dhoti and a big smile, that's how I remember him. He had such a charming personality. He always spoke with such enthusiasm and freshness, that it made you feel connected to him. At the age of 80+, he never took a stick to help him walk. From what I got to hear, he went walking every morning as his exercise routine. He spoke about the lemon trees at his house. Always met and spoke to all of us in the family and knew each one of us, where we live, what we do.

My Grandfather and he met everyday. They were such good buddies. It was good to see that my Grandfather had a company everyday. Kids grow old and don't spend enough time with older ones as much, not because they don't want to, but because there are a lot of other things happening in their life which they need to take care of. Friendships like Deshpande Baba and my Grandfather is such a blessing at that age. Well, they are a blessing at any age.

Anyways, I got to know that he passed away last week. I felt sorry for my Grandfather and was so much thinking what he might be feeling.

2011-01-20T10:46:00.003-07:00

When you feel that you are not at the right place, make an effort to move out of that place. Being in the right place is important.
Doing what you enjoy is very important. If you are not doing what you enjoy then remind yourself that it is not what you want. Make an effort to get what you want and do what you enjoy. Don't just sit and be satisfied that at least you have what you have now... You deserve more, you deserve what you enjoy!

Relax, its just a reminder to myself about my work.

2010-10-27T19:01:00.000-06:00

I am missing a lot of people today... dont know why...

2010-09-19T19:50:00.001-06:00

Moment of Inertia...

2010-09-09T16:01:00.002-06:00

I dont have anything to write, but I am bored. Don't ask me what I am bored of...

Anyways, I wanted to write about Mahabharata...
I finished watching Mahabharata last month. And I feel that one should watch it at least once in life, after you are 25. Its more meaningful only when you are matured.

It explains the principles of life in such a nice manner, how one should behave at different stages of life in different roles that they have to live in their lifetime.

Its available on YouTube with subtitles. The video quality is not great, but watchable.

Now I am bored of writing also. So, Bye!

2010-08-26T23:01:00.002-06:00

That time of the year again... I wish somehow this time of the year goes away in a blink...

2010-08-17T22:43:00.001-06:00

Missing home... specially my grand parents...

2010-08-12T09:33:00.002-06:00

Thinking about things that don't work 24 hours is not going to make it work. Stop thinking about them when you are not working on them... try to make them work when you are actually working on it.

Lori...

2010-06-29T22:46:00.002-06:00

Have you tried hearing to any Loris when you are unable to sleep at night? Trust me, you feel fall asleep as soon as you hear one.
I realized this yesterday night when I woke up at 3am and couldn't sleep. So, I started watching Mahabharat (something that I watch everyday on Youtube these days) at night and around 5am, Yashoda starts singing lori to Krishna, and I slept listening to it. Felt so much at peace... :)

Good Night.

Feeling helpless...

2010-06-20T23:16:00.002-06:00

Whenever I realize that me being in some other place would give some of my near ones a little comfort and a little help and I am unable to do that, I start feeling helpless... I start questioning myself if what I am currently doing is worth it.

Life is about relationships and the people in your life... but I am not able to take care of them 100%.

Its not always easy to do what you want to do.

2010-05-27T22:07:00.003-06:00

Tell me something...

Do you ever feel that you are not doing good in whatever you are doing? Do you feel that you need to perform better? Do you feel that you want to do all that but you are just not good enough?

What do you do then?

2010-04-09T09:11:00.003-06:00

It is difficult to appear strong when you are actually weak.
It is difficult to smile when you really want to cry.
It is difficult to be patient when you really are very eager.
It is difficult to tell people that it is not okay, because they will advice you to not do it and you know you have to do it.

I know I am writing only about what is difficult but that is how I am feeling now... frustrated and weak...

2010-04-07T16:52:00.002-06:00

I simply feel that I should have not come to the US... I am suddenly feeling distant from India.

2010-02-05T06:05:00.004-07:00

So its 10 days to go and I will be married!
Its 6.00 am and I am leaving for India today to get married. In all the preparations of going to India, I forgot about my blog. A friend read my blog yesterday while we were talking and it reminded me of my blog. Reading this, another friend of mine would have said "This is what love does to you". And if you are in Boulder, you can easily guess who this friend is. :D

And yes, this is what love and a person who is there listening to you does. You vent out all feelings to that person and then blog gets bypassed. Its good in one way but I like blogging too... anyways too much digression.

So how am I feeling. I am scared, anxious and I am excited. Living so independently and alone for last 8+ years does get to you. My expectations from myself is the reason for the scare. Lowering your expectations is one solution but then there is no motivations for yourself. Hope I live up to my own expectations which are generally very high. :(

I am super anxious. I have lost my sleep, I hardly sleep for 4 hours a day. I don't feel hungry at all. When I don't work, I just think about how the wedding is going to be. If my dresses are going be apt, the jewelery, etc etc. oh well, a girl's mind and heart is always in her looks. :D

I am happy that most of my close relatives are making it to the wedding. I wish I could say that about my friends too. But either they are super far or they are super busy with their lives (some are expecting new little ones). But hey, I have their wishes. :-).

And I am looking forward for the entire experience of pre-wedding celebrations, the big fat marwari wedding, post-wedding time, honeymoon (we are going Spain!) and the married life after that. It is going to be one big experience...

Will update the blog about this big experience when I am back. See you all in a month. Take care till then.

Love,
Poonam

2010-01-14T14:41:00.002-07:00

My mom says me this one morning - "Think about yourself first". I feel like telling her you never taught me to do that. In fact, you always taught me to think about other family members first and then myself. How do you expect me to think about me now?

She tells me to speak out what I want. I feel like telling her, she did not even teach me that. Whenever I spoke what I want when I was young, I was called a stubborn/rude girl. Not only me, but others in my family who did that too were called stubborn/rude. They taught us how to listen to others and compromise all your wants, likings. They appreciated a simple kid who did not have many wishes, who thought about others first and who sacrificed a lot of his/her likings.

And now when you are not in that pitruchaya (dad's secured umbrella) and you are in this world, you understand the importance of being a stubborn person who stands by what he/she wants, who speaks out what he/she thinks is not right and tries to make the most of an opportunity without thinking of others.

Well Mom, its too late... even if you tell me to do that now, I can't do it. And when you or others tell the youngsters to become like me, I hate it the most. I don't want them to become like me! I want them to stand by their own wishes, I want them to be happy instead of thinking of how to make others happy, I want them to be stubborn when they know what they want, I want them to speak out each time even if they are wrong at least you can correct them, I want them to have a brain of their own and not get into emotional atyachaar!

And I have seen this most in joint Indian Marwari Families... and I am part of such a family. I would like to know what do you think about this, do you think you have been brought up in such a way?

In no ways I am dis-respecting my family or my parents, I love them the most! Its just one of the things I think is wrong in me and I am finding an escape by blaming it on the way I was brought up. :-)

2009-11-19T11:29:00.002-07:00

Another friend leaves,
some hearts are empty,
some eyes are watery,
and lot of words are unspoken...

Such are relationships,
which give you the most,
and take away from you most,
And now is the time to cherish...

2009-11-11T15:59:00.002-07:00

Its been long since I wrote... I have lots to write, but I think writing all that will make me vulnerable. And the last thing I will let happen to myself is making myself vulnerable.

I am confused, and I think I am always confused. My right brain wants one thing and my left brain wants another thing. And its not possible to satisfy both the brains. I wish I not had been like this and I had a clear crystal mind.

2009-10-14T08:41:00.005-06:00

Sometimes I think if it is good to have that open a mind and speak it out that frankly. I think people find difficult to connect with me and get offended. Its not that what I think I am going to implement it in my life, but I think there is nothing wrong in those things.

And I cant ignore what people think about me. At last, I live in a society. And so, I sometimes feel running away from the society in a secluded area where there is no one to judge you.

You wish, Poonam! That is never going to happen.

2009-10-03T18:30:00.004-06:00

I feel like a dumb. I dont know anything about what I should have known in the ideal world. I dont know... I am clueless. I feel pathetic...

Update - And then I crib about it to A, and I feel good after cribbing. :D

Note

2009-09-17T11:56:00.002-06:00

You can't make everyone happy. So, be happy when you and some near ones are happy.

:)

2009-09-15T10:12:00.004-06:00

I never felt that I will have all these emotions that I am going through currently. I always thought that I have a very stony heart. People who know me also think similar about me... they can never imagine me with a guy and in love. I had all those girly dreams but my love for my parents and family always super-seeded those dreams. I always took marriages as society rituals. And when I said yes to getting married, I still had all these things in my mind.

And now, after 5 months of being engaged, I have such different emotions. I am surprised on myself. I have been planning the next phase of my life. I keep thinking about him most of the time. The one person I look forward to talk to is him. And I keep missing him so much. And for the first time, I cried today just because I was missing him. Yeah, this heart has become soft with time, and its falling in love... and the feeling is very good... :)

2009-08-31T00:57:00.003-06:00

I am feeling so relaxed now.. my brain is so light after being heavy for last 2-3 days... Thanks to my dear sister, best brother-in-law you can ever get and an awesome friend. Feeling all fresh again.
I feel blessed to have such people in my life.

-Me.

2009-08-29T21:39:00.002-06:00

There is something coming towards me, I can see it coming, can feel it. I will have to face it and its necessary to face it rather than running away. It will surely make me better...
Good Luck to myself!
-Poonam.

Back....

2009-08-27T21:28:00.003-06:00

I had made my blog private for couple of weeks because I wanted to write some private posts, innermost feelings. Then couple of my friends mentioned to me that its good to read the posts. And its back again...

UPDATE-I have deleted the remaining part of the post for certain reason. It will be up again a little later.

....

2009-08-14T11:53:00.001-06:00

I love Moms... your, mine and everyone's. They are the best!

My mornings..

2009-08-12T23:01:00.002-06:00

I recently found this great pic which is my laptop's wallpaper now... I wake up, start my lappy and there he is smiling at me with the cutest of all smile... I am just loving my mornings when I wake up looking at him... tell me, isnt he really cute?

2009-08-12T08:36:00.002-06:00

I am waiting so much for the long weekend.... and I wish its the longest weekend......

Teej

2009-08-09T21:06:00.003-06:00

A festival celebrated in India by women for a good married life and long life for their husband. Girls start doing this pooja even before they are married or engaged for their future married life...
I have been out of my home for last 8 years. So, I really don't know what is done and why it is done. I only realized that I am expected to do this when my mom-in-law talked about it to me. My family never enforced it on me and I was also not much into all this. You rather ask me about Federer and Computers.. he he..
This year is my first celebration... and I do feel like celebrating it. Its kind of a nice feeling... I had started preparing for it from last 3-4 days. Tried making Satu on thursday, which ended up being a failed attempt. Attempted it again today, and it turned out good. I read about Teej on the internet and the story behind it. A good source of information about Teej is here -
Teej
Posting here if you need to find it sometime and for my reference as well for next year... I am already preparing for next year.. he he..
Anyways, I am waiting for the moon-rise. It's very cloudy here and I can see lightening, so I doubt I will get to see the moon. My mom-in-law has given me a solution if I dont get to see the moon. I should wait for an hour after the moon rise time. If I dont see it by then, I should end my fast anyways by eating Satu and then followed by fruits or whatever is allowed.
So all the girls out there who are celebrating Teej, hope you had a good time getting pampered by the elders. :-)
Love,
Poonam.

....

2009-08-04T16:13:00.002-06:00

I suddenly felt that life is too long to plan for anything... and I dont know if people who say "Live in present" really live in present? Don't you plan? How does it work if you don't plan for coming years?

Greeting cards

2009-07-12T13:48:00.002-06:00

Lately, I have been trying to find some nice greeting cards for my Fiance... and I figured that there are hardly any nice cards that you get in US.
I am a big cards person and used to give cards for no reason (ask my best friend Priyanka). I realized that you get such nice cards in India of any occasion or just like that cards that I always got more than one card whenever I went to the card shop. Archies, Hallmark, and etc. say the right feelings whats on your mind. But here, I have been so many times and hardly get a good card. I end up buying a card just because I like it but dont end up giving it.
And when I was trying to find a reason why dont I like the cards here, I found that its culture difference. The way we think is a little different than the way people think here. The expression style is different. Plus, since arrange marriage is part of our culture we get cards for every phase of this period... here its not like that...
And, the cards are way more expensive.. starts from $2. I dont know what are the rates in India now, but I could have bought 5 cards in $2. And the nicer, little decorated cards are around $5. Now thats a lot!
Anyways, if you know of some better card shops in US, let me know! I need cards to express myself... :D :)

A quote worth remebering all the time...

2009-07-02T16:00:00.004-06:00

A friend once wrote to me this - “Say you write a really bad code and I say to you that, wow, this is amazing work. Is that going to make you happy? I bet not. Similarly when you create an amazing thing, and I say that I don’t like what you did, how would that affect you? Apart from the fact that I did not show my approval. Say, I am a person who you hardly care about…then what? Would it matter to you? Things bother you today in office because, these are people who you attach importance to – your peers, managers, etc. But, when you do that, you are getting trapped into an illusionary circle right? If we decide that we cannot live without caring about what people think or say, why don’t we apply the same concept to the top most level and care about what our heart feels. Because, once we answer to the calls of our hearts, the rest does not matter. They will settle down by themselves.”

I agree to this completely... Gotta train the brain... :). Thanks :).

Dont have a title...

2009-07-02T15:44:00.005-06:00

I sometimes wonder... why dont I learn from my past experiences and try to improve. Is it because I dont care? No, but I do care, I think I dont give it due importance.

Learning from past experiences is important. I need to learn to keep them in RAM rather than in the hard drive, so that whenever a situation comes, I dont forget about it. It would have been really cool if I could register a signal, and the signal would have called me whenever a situation like that occurs. God, give me a computer brain with some awesome Operating system.

Sorry, too much of geeky post... could not help, too much of geeky work caused this. So, blame the work I am doing, not me. Anyways, back to some doc... till then, CTRL+ALT+DEL->Lock this computer.

You matter

2009-06-15T10:19:00.003-06:00

A very nice post by Seth Godin - http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/06/you-matter.html

* When you love the work you do and the people you do it with, you matter.
* When you are so gracious and generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself, you matter.
* When you leave the world a better place than you found it, you matter.
* When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it, you matter.
* When you teach and forgive and teach more before you rush to judge and demean, you matter.
* When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words), you matter.
* When kids grow up wanting to be you, you matter.
* When you see the world as it is, but insist on making it more like it could be, you matter.
* When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller, you matter.
* When the room brightens when you walk in, you matter.
* And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime, you matter.

And reading this one has made a good start of day for me. Only when I was trying to figure out the reason of my existence, I so much needed to read such a post. Thanks Seth Godin!

Good Luck Federer!

2009-06-07T00:18:00.003-06:00

We all know this is the biggest match for you and can imagine the amount of pressure you are going through now... and how its going to be during the match. Keep cool, keep calm and like you have done last three matches, just make Soderling play, let him do the mistakes, and get him tired. You have that stamina which no one has...
I am praying for you! Good Luck! Om Namah Shivay!

Admirer,
Poonam.

AND FEDERER WINS!!!! I am sooooo dammnnnn Happppyyyyyy! Awesome!!!! Loved it! :) :) :)

Mumma...

2009-06-01T23:56:00.002-06:00

When things dont go in the way you want them to go, you only remember one person... Mummy... you want to be close to her... and the song on my mind is -

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa

Bheed Mein Yun Na Chodo Mujhe
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa
Bhej Na Itna Door Mujkko Tu
Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa
Kya Itna Bura Meri Maa

Miss you Mumma... :(

My current state -

2009-06-01T16:53:00.002-06:00

I need some strength, some confidence, some concentration and a lot of motivation and faith in myself...
O God... please help me!

To a friend...

2009-05-14T21:08:00.004-06:00

This one's dedicated to my dear friend Tejas...
A friend who has been with me like a rock last 3.5 years, who has helped me in every little thing and made sure that I get things done rightly.
I am going to miss you, a lot! I never realized how much till today... and suddenly I wonder, whom I am going to call when I am in trouble at any time of day or just like that... I am sure gonna miss you. :(. :((

Source of Happiness

2009-05-14T18:42:00.002-06:00

Just a small tip -
Don't make one thing your only source of happiness. With big things like work and relationships, enjoy the small little things in life. Those small little things can make you happy when the big things are missing in life or are not around. Enjoy when the grass becomes green, the sunset gets delayed, the river starts flowing, a friend calls, or when you eat a chocolate!

A good day at work... worked almost 8 hours with no time pass whatsoever... Feels good!
Have a good evening!

Happy today...

2009-05-09T03:07:00.002-06:00

I'm happy today... The only thing that was lacking in my life while living in US was not having a family... And that missing part is full now. I'm so glad to have a family here now. Though its a new one and I still miss my folks back in India, I feel attached to the new ones.
Its 5.30 am in this part of the world, I have not slept the whole night and I'm not even sleepy. And yet I'm feeling good. :).
Take care.

Status messages

2009-05-08T15:48:00.003-06:00

Some interesting status messages that my friends in my gtalk lists have -
1. All you really gotta do is live and die, but I'm in a hurry and don't know why.
One of my friend has this as her status msg... and I so much agree to it... take it easy girl...
2. Your foot's asleep? I hate it when it does that! Now it's going to be awake all night!
I dont know what this means.. but the friend surely will know...
3. The only way we can be of any help to others around is by working on ourselves !!
I so much agree to this... and its self learned!
4. TGIF
I so much love this... fav acronym. :D

My status msg... naa I am invisible today and for the weekend.. ;-).
Have a great weekend!

Month of April '09

2009-05-03T17:40:00.008-06:00

I got engaged last month! That is the biggest step I have ever taken and most of it was my decision.

His name is Ashutosh. A game programmer working in Atlanta. His family is based out of Chennai. So far so good... :-).

We spoke to each other for more than a month. It all started with my Brother-in-law and his sister-in-law's match-making brains. They both are first cousins. It started with an email, followed by some chat and phone conversations. A's parents and my parents met and they liked each other (I find this statement funny. So, I am putting it here as well). And then we were supposed to meet. I convinced him to come to Boulder saying Boulder is very beautiful. On Thursday, the weather department forecast'd heavy snow blizzard in Boulder and areas around. Having experienced a snow blizzard just a week ago, I called A and told him about it and got the meeting postponed to next weekend. I had so much of guilt because it was me who convinced him for Boulder and it was me who was postponing the meeting. Mr. A was going to be super busy next some weekends and did not have enough time to travel, so I decided to fly down to Atlanta and meet him. Good that I did not have to play a host. :D.

Spent a day with him, had good time. And at the end of the day said yes. The decision was not a click decision. It happened gradually as the day passed. None of my family members have seen him or met him in person and I have not met any of his. I was very tensed to take such a big decision on my own. But, recently I had realized that you need to take risks and make things work and you are responsible for your own happiness. And I took the decision.

I was in a weird state for a week. I did not know what to do, how to react. Being in States, away from family it was taking time to sink in. I only felt some difference when I spoke to his family and my family. And they all were super happy and excited. I could feel that when I spoke to them. And they could not feel the same when they spoke to me. I had to assure them that it will take sometime.

And things changed when we met again last weekend. Had a really good time and now I feel that yes, I am engaged and there is this new person in my life whom I really want to talk to, know more about him and spend time with him. I love talking to his family. Its going nice so far and I am looking forward for more from life.

I am sorry to post this so late. My idea was to post this news first on my blog. But due to a cluttered brain at that time, nothing right would come out of it. Better late than never! :)

I will be writing a blog about my experience on how it goes for a girl in an arrange marriage. I had decided some time back that I will write about it after I get engaged. How all this changes a girl's mindset about herself and the world. Look for it sometime soon!

Motorcycle Diaries (with some random thoughts)

2009-04-09T21:07:00.003-06:00

I just saw this beautiful movie "Motorcycle Diaries" and highly recommend watching it. I wont write much here about the movie, because I want you to see it. Just a little background, 2 guys on a bike set to travel the South Americas! Do nothing great but have a great experience.

Beautiful cinematography of one of my favorite destinations, South Americas! I have never been there but it is one of my most desired destinations to visit. Just love the tropical green, the vast amazon water, the beautiful mountain ranges, the non-commercialized land!

The other day I was thinking this - what if one day I lose everything? No job, no money, nothing in my hand other than couple of friends and family. Will I have enough strength to start all over again? Will I be able to live a life without the comforts that I have now? In short, will I be able to come out of this comfort zone? I was insecure that night. I tried calling my friends to find some answers, but I couldn't reach anyone. And I was lucky to not find anyone, because that let me search the answers within myself. I thought over it. And there is only one way to come out of that insecurity, to get out of your comfort zone! I have a solution for myself, start everything from zero. I would not go into details of how, when, why, but if there are no commitments, surely sometime in near future. I shall write more about it, when I do it and if I ever do it.I believe that would increase my inner strength and that is what a person needs more than anything else!

So, why did I write the above paragraph when I am talking about Motorcycle Diaries. Because after watching that movie, I felt more urge of doing it. Its difficult to convince your family when you want to do such things, and in my case that is the most difficult task, but think I can do it when time comes. I am writing all this to convince myself, so please do not mind it.

That is it, more random thoughts some other time. Time to write a letter to Mom. Yeah, I mean a hardcopy letter. She wants me to write it. And the lead hero in Motorcycle diaries writes letters to his mom, so another inspiration and have to do it today. This was on my to-do list since a week. My mom was telling me about a letter I wrote to my family when I first went to hostel, in my first year of engineering. Recently, my family sat after a dinner and laughed a hell lot when they read it all together. Oh well, I can imagine how funny that letter can be. It was meant to be funny, but with my writing skills, it is super funny. We have a tradition in our family of writing letters and the credit goes to my Grandfather, Baba. I have to write him also a letter. He is 83 and cannot hear very well now. So, letters are the best way to communicate with him. He loves knowing about what is going on and how its going on, and has 100s of questions. And the best part is, he replies back to the letters. He uses a type-writer to write letters. Yes, he still uses it. When I first came to US, he wrote me a letter and posted it by normal post which never reached me. So, he has given up on posting a letter, rather sends it with someone if someone is visiting me or emails me with the help of my sister. I personally feel, letters are better than telephonic conversation. You can enjoy them all your life. :)

Just too many random thoughts, rather a brain dump! Thanks for reading it if you are still reading. Dont forget to watch "Motorcycle Diaries". The two hours surely will add something to your brain and heart.

Understanding

2009-04-02T23:02:00.002-06:00

I have always felt that relationships are the most complex thing to take care of. But with time, I have realized that the crux of every relationship is "Understanding". If you understand the other person well, the relationship works great. May it be a Father-Daughter, your sibling, your friend, your boss, if you can understand or even try to understand what the other person is trying to tell or is doing, you have at least put a little bit from your side to that relationship. Do not always try to judge the other person.

My relationships over time have evolved beautifully with number of people, family + friends. And I would give full credit to the word "Understanding", understanding from their side and from my side. Some of those relationships have seen the worst times when there were arguments, cold wars, no talks, etc. but some of them still are the best ones that I treasure.

If you want to make something work, try to Understand!

P.S. - And as I write this, I also want to mention that I feel India currently has the best batting tail. Harbhajan and Zaheer have pull of the team a hell lot of time! And Zaheer has just hit 4 fours in a row to O'Brien in the India - New Zealand third Test match.

All alone...

2009-03-18T15:26:00.002-06:00

Living alone in my apartment, I never felt lonely. But I am already anticipating the loneliness(while I am at work) that I will have today evening. I am dreading to go back to my apartment in the evening. The reason being last 4 days one of my cousin was visiting me. We spoke so much, had so much fun, that I will feel lonely in that house for couple of days till I get used to it again.

You dont realize things till you experience it. Once you experience it and like it, you would want to have it more. And you dont know when you will have it.

I am not sure why I am writing this stuff on this blog, but think I can share more with my blog at any time rather than any person with different constraints (continent, time, office, work, etc constraints).

An amazing song

2009-03-10T01:06:00.004-06:00

I came across Whitney Houston today and loved her voice and specially this beautiful song "One Moment in time". Lyrics goes like this -

Each day I live
I want to be a day to give the best of me
I'm only one, but not alone
My finest day is yet unknown
I broke my heart for every gain
To taste the sweet, I faced the pain
I rise and fall,
Yet through it all this much remains

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

I've lived to be the very best
I want it all, no time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance here in my hands

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity

You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine

Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be, I will be, I will be free

I will be, I will be free

Check out the song here on youtube. Do listen to the song.
Enjoy!

Stye Eye

2009-03-04T23:38:00.005-07:00

UPDATE:- A lot of people have visited this blog while searching for stye eye and ranjanwadi. So I thought I should write how it got cured. I did not have to do anything to my stye eye. I slept at night and it got cured the next day morning. So, try resting your eyes and avoid eating anything that generates heat in your body. Hope it helps.

My right eye has a stye and it is continuously watering. I should not be online now and instead rest, but I want to write about the styes that I had in my past.

So, styes are called as "ranjanwadi" in Marathi language. Marathi is the dialect from Maharashtra, India. There is also a marathi song which goes "ranjanwadi phutli ga...". When I was around 5-6 years, I used to get Styes very often. I remember, I got a stye on my left eye, when that got cured, I got it on right eye. When that got cured, I got it again on the left eye. It was weird. Poor me, had continuous watering eyes. It was not getting cured even after multiple visits to doctors. Everyone at home was worried of whats going wrong. My mom took me to Hyderabad to some sadhu ji who cures such stuff. I was in Hyderabad for around a week, went to the sadhu ji but it still did not get cured. I came back to my hometown with stye eye. Then someone told my Mom that donate silver eyes to the Hanuman ji temple in the city. And my mom got silver eyes made. One Saturday, we went to the temple and with some pooja and all, she donated the eyes. And in next couple of days, no more Styes! Ok! I know it is ridiculous, but thats how it works in India. And all this still works in India.

I sometimes find it weird though. I believe in God, but not so much that I would leave all up to him. And I dont understand how people are so spiritual that they would leave everything up to God. They would expect God to make every wrong thing right. If that would have been the case, why would he (God) put the wrong thing in our lives?

Anyways, think I should rest my stye eye, only to see it full grown tomorrow morning.

And yeah, I do believe in God. So, Jai Hanuman! :-)

UPDATE: I didnt say Jai Hanuman so that he cures my stye eye, I said it because I referred him in the post. And no, I would not do the stuff that my mom did for the stye eye.

The five agreements

2009-02-16T17:18:00.004-07:00

Today something did not go the way it should have gone. But even after that I am not feeling sad. If same thing had happened a year back, I would have been a little sad. But its not same now. I am changing and changed quite a bit and yes for good. :)

I went for run today, after running went to have orange juice at Jamba juice. There was a book "The four agreements" and I liked the four agreements mentioned in the book. And I think I follow most of it now, so I am not sad today even when things don't go the right way.

1. Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.

2. Dont take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to opinions and actions of others, you won't be victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.

4. Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Adding another thing to that list which I try to follow -
5. Don't hold grudges - against people even if they have hurt you, caused you loss, made you feel pathetic. That will help you in forgiving yourself, forgiving others and being fresh every moment. Everyone has their own reasons of doing things the way they do, and you cant ask reasons for everything.

A confession though, sometimes it hurts you by being good to others, but hurting yourself can be taken care of in just a snap shot, while mending it with others takes lifetime.

Cheers,
Poonam.

New York

2009-02-08T21:35:00.006-07:00

I had been to New York this weekend. Loved it again. It was my third trip to New York, the first two being interview trips, this was my New York trip. I love the energy the city has. Everyone is on move, lights, people, subways, maps, its fun. After two days of hubhub, I am not feeling tired at all. That is the energy the city has, and I love everything that energizes me.

Couple of incidents-
I was waiting for a bus just outside my hotel. There was a lady, in her 40s, waiting there for her bus. I asked her to confirm if my bus was coming there as well. And then the conversation-
Lady: Aap India se ho?
Me: Haan, mein India se hu.
Lady: Mein Pakistan se hu.
Me: Pakistan se.
Lady: Bahut acha lagta hai apne logo ko dekh kar. Mein tumhe kaafi der se dekh rahi hu, jab tum hotel se yaha chal ke aa rahi thi.
Me: Haan, acha lagta hai bahut. Aap idhar rehti ho?
Lady: Haan, idhar hi paas mein rehti hu. Tum job kar rahi ho ya padhai?
Me: Abhi job kar rahi hu, Colorado mein.
Lady: Acha. Aj kal to job ki kitni problem chal rahi hai. Mein idhar Laguardia airport ki security mein kaam karti thi. Mere manager ne mera id le liya and boli ki "I will call you", aur 2 mahine se abhi tak nahi bulaya. Abhi mein naya job dhundh rahi hu. Usike liye jaa rahi hu. Peechle 2 mahino se meri behne hi mera rent bhar rahi hai, mujhe help kar rahi hai.
Me: Ohh.
Lady: Beta, tumhari bus aa gayi hai. Change lagega.
Me: Haan, aunty hai change. Acha chalti hu mein. Aap ko job search ke liya Good Luck. Jaldi mil jayega job.
Lady: Mein bhi tumhare liye dua karungi. Khush rehna.
Thats it. I was happy. :)

1 bus trip costs 2 dollars. I had 1 dollar bill and 1 dollar quarter change. I board the bus and the bus driver tells me that he does not take 1 dollar bills. He takes quarters only. And he shouts in the bus, asking if anyone has change for dollar bill. Luckily a Chinese guy has change for a dollar bill. He gives me the change and I give him dollar bill and thank him.

Then I reach the Jackson Heights subway station. Decide to buy a day pass, I go to the vending machines. When I was getting the pass, an asian lady who didnt know how to operate the vending machines was requesting a man to help her out. The man said, I am in hurry, cant help now. She asked me. I was in no hurry, I got her a pass with her money. She was happy and thanked me holding my hand. I returned the favor the Chinese guy did to me by helping the asian lady get her pass. Felt good.

Manhattan is as vibrant as it could be. So so so many high rising buildings, so many people, so many different things, its awesome. I surely want to live in New York some time of life. I had an opportunity some time back, but did not go then, was not sure if I would cope with the New York life. But now I want to live in New York and enjoy the energy and grandness of the city. I am sure it would be fun.

Another small incident at Denver airport - I was driving out of parking lot and had to pay the parking fees at one of the booths. The guy at the booth was a little dark. I had a small conversation with him -
Guy: Hi there, How are you?
Me: Hi. I am good. How are you?
Guy: Good. 22 dollars.
Gave him the credit card.
Guy: Are you from India?
Me: Yes.
Guy: You people have similar face and color like us.
Me: Where are you from?
Guy: Ethopia.
Me: Ethopia, nice.
Guy: Ok. Have a good evening dear.
Me: You have a good evening too.
I loved how the day went, meeting so many different people from different countries and the small nice conversations which I had with them. I am happy to be in a part of the world called US, where I meet so many different people.

Small small experiences are nice. And the best place to write it down is this blog. I am glad I have a blog.

Kabhi yun bhi to ho....

2009-01-30T19:49:00.003-07:00

Amazing gazal of Jagjit Singh from his album Silsilay.

Kabhi yun bhi to ho, kabhi yun bhi to ho......

Dariya ka saahil ho, pure chand ki raat ho, aur tum aao....

kabhi yun bhi to ho, kabhi yun bhi to ho...

Pariyon ki mehfil ho, koi tumhari baat ho, aur tum aao....

kabhi yun bhi to ho, kabhi yun bhi to ho, kabhi yun bhi to ho

ye narm mulayam thandi hawayein, jab ghar se tumhare gujare,
tumhari khushbu churayein, mere ghar le aaye...
kabhi yun bhi to ho...

suni har mehfil ho, koi na mere saath ho, aur tum aao...
kabhi yun bhi to ho, kabhi tun bhi to ho....

kabhi yun bhi to ho, ye badal aisa tut ke barase,
mere dil ki tarah milne ko tumhara dil bhi tarse, tum niklo ghar se...
kabhi yun bhi to ho, kabhi yun bhi to ho...

tanhaai ho dil ho, bunde ho barsaat ho, aur tum aao...
kabhi yun bhi to ho, kabhi yun bhi to ho...

dariyaan ka saahil ho, pure chand ki raat ho, aur tum aao...
kabhi yun bhi to ho, kabhi yun bhi to ho...

Confidence

2009-01-28T09:09:00.003-07:00

I was reading an article on one of yesterday's Australian Open quarterfinal matches, and these lines struck me -

"Confidence is a funny thing. Worse, it is a fickle thing. Just when you think you can rely upon it, it vanishes and then, when you think you will never master it, it becomes your best friend."

More on "Confidence" some other time. Gotta get to work... :)
Have a good day!

.....

2009-01-22T19:22:00.003-07:00

So, I waited, waited and waited... but nothing came... and when I concluded nothing is coming and its only me who is waiting, there something comes...

Stop expecting things and you see unexpected things!

18 till I die

2009-01-17T01:18:00.004-07:00

I have always loved this song... and I am a big fan of Bryan Adams... and today and every year on 17th Jan, I want to say... "18 till I die"... !
I wish to have same enthusiasm every year... same energy... same passion... and a great great set of friends... and I know my family will always and forever be with me!
Thanks for being a part of my life!

Realization is necessary !

2008-12-23T21:02:00.006-07:00

When you are in the four walls of your home and living with your own people, everything seems good to you. You conclude that everyone is nice and caring in this world. Everyone thinks mostly alike on the major topics, or tend to agree in due time, living with each other and life is good!

But then when you go in the world outside, its different, a lot different. Definition of everything changes from person to person. You come to realize that its not the same world what you have learned about when you were in your home. You meet people who do not care about things that you care about.

And then you realize freshly about things, people, work, yourself, etc. What you thought about them is actually not what it is, it is a lot more or a lot less. What you thought is good is actually not good and vice-versa.

And such realizations are necessary. You at least get to know the true facts and come to face the reality !

Sisters...

2008-12-22T01:07:00.007-07:00

I am blessed to have so many sisters. I have 6! And a long philosophical talk with them is really special. They have seen you grow, they know what you like, what you hate, what you actually are... and they can suggest you the best.
The elders one are there to tell you the goods and the bads, protect you and you can pamper the younger ones as much as you can and guide them. And once everyone is old enough, you can talk about anything to them, they wont judge you, never.

I had an amazing talk with my eldest sister who is 12 years elder to me... Both of us were choked, nothing serious, just the philosophy of life, how we should live our life, be happy and some stories around the world. And then I wrote a mail to my younger sister who is trying to make it through her challenges. I am thousand miles away from them but such talks and mails brings me so much close to them, I would do anything to not miss talking to them, they bring life into me, give me more energy.

Life with such relationships make it worthwhile!

Love you my six "sixers" and you all are precious!!! :-)

Cake time !

2008-12-14T20:39:00.004-07:00

My first successful attempt of baking a cake in US, well actually second, this attempt being a better one. Thanks to my dear friend Anupama. It was her secret recipe to bake a cake without eggs.
Its amazingly cold outside, -18 C. I know, its cold! I saw some beautiful cakes on Food Network channel on TV and it was enough for my taste buds to crave for some chocolate cake. With the required raw materials at home, there comes a superb tasty cake ! You don't need a reason to relish a chocolate cake. Want some? :-)

Snow !

2008-12-08T21:04:00.008-07:00

Its snowing outside, and the night looks like a beautiful dawn! Nothing can be more romantic than this... Only I wish I could go out and take a walk and some pictures, but its too cold.
Ok, time for some pictures that I could manage to take from my newly built patio... More Pictures

FRIENDS !

2008-12-04T22:19:00.008-07:00

I read this and I burst out laughing... !
Please click the image and you will be directed to fuller version of the comic strip.

A week full of fun

2008-12-02T22:01:00.012-07:00

I know I have not been here for over a month. That was not at all my plan when I started blogging... But was busy with lots of stuff last month. I wanted to write number of times on some random and weird things, but really could not. I will try to make that up this month. This post is a little personal, so might be a little boring also. :-)

I had been to India last week. I know, another trip to India, very short though just 10 days and 7 excluding the travel days. People tease me now, that I travel to India as if I travel Mumbai-Delhi. This was my 3rd India visit in last year, i.e from Nov 07 to Dec 08. Cool na... :D. And all these visits were actually not vacations, were family events/occasions/circumstances.

I arrived here in my Boulder home on Nov 30th, after 48 hours of travel. A huge con when you dont live in a city with International airport, in my case both the cities are without International airports. I was so frustrated at the end of my travel, I just felt like running back to my home in India.

Last three days in India were all about the Mumbai terrorist attacks. Keep watching the news, talk about it, mourn, get angry, frustrated, sad to see what is happening to India and what those idiots can do...

Then on tuesday, I saw Yuvraaj. And along with me, I took 13 people to see that movie in a nearby city, Sangli, which has multiplex theater, just coz one of my jiju does not like to see movies in my city, Ichalkaranji in those avg class theaters. Well, the movie was pathetic. Literally Pathetic. Everyone just screamed "Poonammm" during/after the movie. I am very good at sleeping in theaters, so I caught up with my pending sleep half hour in each half. :D. The best part was after that movie, we went to eat the street chats, sandwiches, juice, icecreams, dosas. Now thats what you miss being in US.

The main reason of my India travel was my first cousin, PD's wedding. PD is just seven days elder to me and we have lived 21 years together, together as in one house, one room in hostel, one class. So, a wedding which I really could not miss. We have had our best times and the worst worst (second worst in not by mistake, its intended) times together. We enjoyed a lot together - danced, ate, cried, fought, fought as in pulling hair fights also when we were very young. And then I also witnessed her love story. She got married to SK, our classmate in Pune. I always liked their couple, so I was always positive of they getting married and they had my support. This being a so called inter-caste wedding, and first of its kinds in our family. But glad that PD managed it all so well that our family didnt make it a big issue. Good to see my family being open now.

The wedding was fun. I enjoyed the most in this wedding compared to my other sister's wedding. Ate a lot, danced, laughed, skipped sleeping. All this time, I imagined how PD might be feeling. What is going on in her minds, her nervousness. The night before her actual wedding day, I just felt to tell her that its her last night in this house as a Dalya. But I passed that, coz I didnt want everyone to start crying. Oh yeah, those who are not aware, daughters still cry after the wedding - the so called Bidai.:-). And with her the whole family starts crying. And the males, the emotion hidders, keep shouting "why do you have to cry after having such a fabuolous wedding". They themselves feel a lot, but being men they cant shed tears. Sad for them ! :-)

I was even thinking of writing a blog on how an Indian girl feels when she is getting married. Even before the wedding, I kept thinking what would be PD going through now... its such a different thing... You are leaving your house and staying with some new people with new relations. Well, thats how it is... and looks like it has been good with everyone so far. :-)

So the wedding was lots of fun. I reached just a day before the wedding, everyone (I have a big joint family) was already in the mood of wedding, dancing, singing. Joined in the revelry the same night I reached there. I also made a short trip to Pune to attend PD's reception. Met my dear friends with their husbands for the first time. And I liked seeing them with their better halves. :-)

While on my way to Mumbai, I hopped over London. I had 12 hour lay over in London. So, I went around London a little, met a friend there. London was all decked up for Christmas, glittering with lights. I loved the lights !

And during this trip, I used my Canon quite a bit. Will upload the pictures today and update this post with a link !

Dreams and Ambitions

2008-11-05T21:27:00.002-07:00

My day had a great start. One of my closest friend got a baby girl today, another niece for me. Then, watching news about Obama and his historic win with breakfast in the morning was a perfect morning.
But the day became quite lousy as it passed, came back early from work, though I have lots of work. Wanted to go shopping, didnt do that... started watching this movie "Fashion" starring Priyanka Chopra. She looks very nice and has acted really well.
The movie does talk about the Fashion world, but what is more striking is the "Ambitions" part. Being over-ambitious, dreaming the heights of success can sometime be really the negative aspect of your life. I have always been an ambitious person, sometime might be over-ambitious one. I've always wanted the best in life and does not settle down for the average. But with that, I realized that I am not enjoying my today, and enjoying today is more important and that is what it matters. I learned a little from this new mommy friend of mine and some more friends on how to enjoy your today irrespective of how good or bad it is... and I like it now, and I am happy. :)
"Fashion" had another dialogue "Sapne dekhte hai tab hume koi nahi batata, ki unke badle mein hume kitna kuch khona padega". It literally means, when we dream no one tells us how many sacrifices we have to make. And it hit me.... we know what we might get with that dream, but we dont know what all we will lose. And I can relate to it so much... Coming to US was a dream, and I am happy with what I have achieved, but I didnt know then what all will I lose while achieving this dream. Dont want to make a list of the losses... :-).
On a closing note, Being ambitious is still good... though there has to be a line between living today and being ambitious. Makes sense or just a rant? :-)

Kumble retires

2008-11-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

Yeah... my blog starts with a very different kind of post. I have always wanted to write, but couldn't because of whatever reasons... Watched Kumble's retirement video on youtube and thought I should start writing from today... so here it is...
Kumble decides to retire today! A very unexpected news, that too in the middle of the series and "Today" was really shocking. Dont know if he has been thinking about it. Ganguly gave his decision of retirement 15-20 days before his actual retirement, so Ganguly's fans got their mind prepared. Kumble's sudden decision was shocking for Cricket fans. Great player with amazing composure and attitude in the field. I have always liked people who are good at what they do and have amazing attitude on their job, like Ajay Jadeja, Sachin, Sampras, Federrer, Dhoni and yeah Kumble. With Amit Mishra bagging 5 wickets in his first test match that too against Australia and Harbhajan doing his role and Dhoni winning the test match, I had expected that Kumble might see it as a sign. But not so soon. Well, Kotla being his favourite might have added to his decision.
So, I saw the video... I really liked the way the Indian team cheered Kumble. Two of them first carried him on their arms... others thought he is not high enough as he should be, so Dhoni carried him on his shoulders, to get Kumble to that height what he deserved. Such a person Dhoni is. I am really glad such warmth still exists. I wish Anil the best for whatever he decides to do next. This makes me wonder how its gonna be like when Sachin decides something like this. I actually dont even want to think about it... but I surely know how much I am going to cry that day. :)